Friday night at one of the doucheiest bars in the neighborhood (infer what you want about me being there) I’m talking to a girl from Kentucky, which naturally leads to the discussion of whether she would rather marry a douche or a redneck. Her opinion: “The redneck would be nicer, but he might beat me…” she still whole-heartedly chose the hypothetical redneck for matrimony.

Another part of the exchange:

Kentucky: The douche bag would probably have more money.

Me: I think a lot of them don’t actually have much money, they just try and look like they do.

Kentucky: Ya, they spend it all on Ed Hardy shirts.