If your like me, you get a little guilty when you aren’t being productive. Society, or ‘the man’ as I like to call it, has manipulated me into thinking I should do things that will make my life better in the long run even though I don’t enjoy them at the time. Excercise, school work and watching PBS all fall into this category at times (and sometimes they don’t, go figure). So this is what I do to have a relaxing day where I don’t do anything productive.

  1. Drink copious amounts of alcohol. Preferably mixing various types of liquor and homefully some sweet mixers as well. You don’t have to be planning on the rest of the steps when you start drinking, they’ll follow from this one once you get going. I’ve recently learned that following reasonable beer with blueberry bear that actually has blueberry juice (it was all that was left in the fridge, really) and then white russians can do.
  2. Wake up and feel horrible. But you have to really feel bad if you want to keep the lazy guilt away. If you try and convince yourself you feel horrible but you actually feel okay, at some point you’ll think, “Well, I could at least go to the gym to watch other people work out…” and that ruins everything. If you wake up and don’t feel horrible you should probably go to the gym, watch Jim Lehrer and then go back to step one. Having to drive home also helps, as it will make you feel even worse. The key here is to feel so bad you convince yourself that trying to do “something” could have horrible consequences.
  3. Watch tv and or movies. I like seasons of good but not great shows on DVD (or Hulu). That way you can watch for hours without having to think about what you want to watch. I avoid great shows because I don’t want to feel obligated to really pay attention. In the past I’ve had good luck with Behind the Music and the West Wing. Tried Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip yesterday and it seemed to fit into the category nicely.
  4. When you feel up to it, eat something really greasy that you’d feel bad for eating if you weren’t hungover. I’m partial to Little Caesar’s, McDonalds cheeseburgers or Jack in the Box has a variety of good options. My choice is often dictated by what’s whithing walking distance, since getting into a car when properly hungover can be unpleasent, as was previously mentioned.
  5. Go to sleep whenever you feel like it. You’ve succeeded in relaxing!

Hangovers are one of the few bulletproof excuses that keep one from feeling obligated to play the man’s game. Vacations work well too. I am aware of people who never seem to feel obligated to do anything they don’t absolutely have to do. They probably should avoid step #1 since they will endure the hangover without the relaxation benefits.

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