Big news, apparently the apocalypse is coming. I have it on good authority that we should all be stocking up on semi-automatic weapons and getting ready to move to southern Mexico. Word is the federal government has also built concentration camps for all the Christians, the largest being in Alaska. I’m not sure if all the Americans who identify themselves as Christians but don’t actively go to Church, pray, read the bible or vote for George Bush are going to get locked up. I guess I should’ve asked, as depending on the day of the week I could fall into that category.

My reliable source is a 16 year old who has visions, mostly coming out of clouds and some semi-pornographic. I was attending a pool party at a friends apartment complex when the lad and his brother came by to grill some burgers. We started feeding them, cause we had too much food. They only seemed a little odd before the younger of the two began spreading the word. Its nice to know the end of days is coming, but it really harshed the party’s mellow.

I’m not too worried, I’m sure the governor will know how to handle the situation.

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